if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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