I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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