have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
