he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
