i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize