Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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