too bad you live with your parents still
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
