well I can't set my house on fire every night
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
