Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
