okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
