your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
