Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We need to get me chipped asap
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
