I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
