I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
