how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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