someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
