At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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