trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
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I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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