we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The air taste purple.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
