i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
