there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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