My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
