Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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