every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
