That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
