So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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