i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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