After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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