go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
