no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
