**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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