Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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