Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
