These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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