No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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