he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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