Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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