Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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