I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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