dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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