rhymes with "ouble enetration"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
