Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize