I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize