You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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