I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
