Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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