So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i need an iv and a liver transplant
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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