there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
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Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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