I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
