I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
