Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
