Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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