Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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