I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
