I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
