Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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