i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize