Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
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quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.