R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
