6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
